Your F*cking Face

I bet that got your attention.


Let's talk about your face. Or rather your f*cking face. How's it doing? Are you treating it kindly? Telling it good things? Washing it on the regular? Slathering on the sunscreen to prevent wrinkles and sunspots (oh, I guess skin cancer too)? I hope so. It's really important to take care of it because it's usually the first thing people notice about you. And they make all kinds of snap judgments based on what they see. Or really, what they think they're seeing, as beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

While our ideas of beauty are subjective, how we treat people we perceive as beautiful or attractive are universal. Studies have shown that people who are perceived as attractive tend to have an easier time in life. According to Psychology Today, we believe that those who are more attractive are also smarter, more competent and friendlier than your average person. Although there are plenty of beautiful people who really are smart, nice, and competent, there are plenty others who are not, but get credit for it nonetheless.

Meritocracy, shmeritocracy.

Although most people would agree that being attractive seldom hurts your cause, there can be a downside to being good-looking. (Yes, I'm shedding huge crocodile tears for Halle Berry right now.) Because there's an assumption that your life is easy, people may easily dismiss your pain and suffering (sigh, Halle Berry). They may assume that you think you're better than them and attribute negative characteristics such as conceitedness or snottiness without even knowing who you are. So regardless of how messy and disastrous your life may actually be, as an attractive person you have a responsibility to portray all those positive characteristics that are generally attributed to you in the first place. Is it fair? Nope. Will it continue to happen? Yep.

The reality is that most people find beauty to be intimidating. As often as I fantasize pretend that Boris Kodjoe is coming to pick me up for our 5th date, I would be super nervous to approach him in real life for a simple autograph. Good-lookingness that potent renders most of us stupid. It also reminds us of what we don't have going on; our insecurities are often triggered. When we feel insecure, we tend to lash out, either at ourselves or at the one who inspired our insecurities. Unfortunately, when we lash out externally, we may be missing the chance of getting to know someone who is a genuinely awesome person.

And sometimes, we're not.

There are attractive people out there who play their good looks to their advantage. I think to some degree, it's really hard not to; it can't be helped if people pay more attention to you because of your f*cking face, right? However, there are folks who know they're hot and use their good-lookingness to manipulate others into giving them what they want. You know who they (you?) are. Obviously, it works, but it can also be a hindrance to personal growth. (I know, who really wants personal growth when they can get all their drinks for free?) They don't have to work very hard because everything is handed to them, to the point where they start to feel entitled. Unfortunately, particularly for women, looks fade. If that's all you've had to offer, what's left?

I hope you flirted your way to a free education.

I know this works both ways; it's not the fault of the good-looker that they are rewarded for what essentially is a lucky configuration of genes. But I'm not going to go into how society needs to stop treating beautiful people better than the less-beautiful because it's pointless. It's encoded in our DNA to be drawn to attractiveness! We like beautifulness and many of us strive to be considered attractive, handsome, pretty, beautiful. So treat your f*cking face well!

Thanks, Dukes, for the title...your f*cking face.