Sense and Sensibility

It's Saturday. The weather forecast says it's going to be a beautiful fall day - crisp, with sunshine. It's the perfect day to ride your motorcycle. You can't wait; it's been a long, painful wait for the weekend and this is one of your favorite ways to unwind. You get dressed, barely able to zip up your jacket, you're so excited to ride. You step outside and you realize the ground is covered in black ice. The weather person neglected to mention that there was going to be a serious drop in the temperature overnight, causing this very devastating problem you're facing right now. You're on your way to meet up with some friends - you really want to ride your bike, but it makes more sense to take your car. What do you do?

(First, you are a lucky bastard that you have a motorcycle and a car. You baller, shot-caller, you! B. This is a first world problem fa sho. Third of all, brunch is really a Sunday thing, but I appreciate mixing it up a bit.)

Many of us would get in our car because that makes the most sense...which is why being an adult is often boring. We do a lot of stuff that makes sense. We live in places that are work accessible, because that makes sense. We buy cars with good gas mileage, because that makes sense. We exercise and eat moderately healthy, because that makes sense. We join professional organizations, we buy clothes on sale, we use smartphones, all because it makes sense. It makes our lives easier when we do things that make sense.

So should we date people because they make sense?

Yep. Nope. Yes. No. Okay, maybe. Nah, not a good idea. Yeah, you probably should. No way! I mean, it makes sense right?

Thinking about it makes my brain hurt.

I know that plenty of people get with people because they make the most sense. He has a good job, she would make a great mother. He loves the outdoors just as much as you do, she is super smart and can calculate the tip without using the app on her phone. There are lots of qualities that indicate that she/he would be a really good partner. Beverly is whispering in your ear that you're not in your twenties anymore, all of your friends are partnering up, aren't you tired of being the third wheel yet? This boo could be THE boo, except there's that one thing missing - the butterflies. The excitement. The looking forward to it-ness. Whatever name you've given it is not there...but they make a lot of sense.

Is that enough?

For some, yes. Some folks are hellbent on getting married, having a kid or two and living the American dream of buying an overpriced house and being in debt up to their eyeballs. They are able to see the bigger picture, that this person is the best for them because they make sense. All those qualities of being a good partner outweigh the fact that your heartbeat only goes up when you're on the treadmill next to them. Maybe that's how it's supposed to work, that when you get to a certain age, you let go of the butterfly fantasy and decide you want to do what makes sense.

[Side note: if we're making all this much sense, how come the divorce rate is so high? Are most of us not making sense? Do things make sense and then stop making sense? Ponderate on that.]

But wait! I have heard of those urban legends stories where people meet, fall in love and make sh*t work. They have butterflies AND their partners are good to them and for them...they make sense even! It's not even a story I heard from a movie, I know real-life people who have actually experienced it (and are still with their baby boo). However, for some of us, it can seem like an impossible dream. And with those biological clocks ticking, the sensible thing starts to seem more appealing. Forget about the butterflies, you can buy those from the internet (although apparently, you can buy babies off the internet too, but that's not something I encourage). Maybe that guy from the grocery store who's 5 inches shorter than and has a slight lisp may be an actual contender for making a life with you. (We're all the same height when we lay down, right?) Or that chick who rides your train in the morning with the ever-so-slightly discouraging body odor...all she needs is a little extra soap and deodorant and she could be your wifey!

It's easy to convince ourselves that we don't really need the excitement. For some, that may be true; they are able to carve out the life they want with this person who makes sense, even if there's no passion. Yet, I wonder how long they'll be able to suppress that feeling that something's missing. I believe that it's the passion that keeps you connected and able to work through the difficult times, the boring times, the frustrating times and truly enjoy the good times. Without it, it's so much easier to turn to other, less healthier things to find the fulfillment that's not in your relationship. And then the divorce rate goes up and you have to try dating again which may lead to marriage which statistically increases the likelihood of another divorce and then you'll either be the lady with a lot of cats or the guy with the bad comb over trying to pick up much-younger women in their obiviously-I'm-having-a-midlife-crisis sports car.

Don't be that person. And don't buy babies off the internet!