The Palate Cleanser

 

You're not sure why or how it happened, but it happened. You woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and decided - now that you've made it to a certain age, it's time to upgrade your dining game. You pull out your wallet and take out all your frequent dining cards. Goodbye Chevy's, goodbye Olive Garden, peace out Applebee's. (Of course you don't throw them away, but you acknowledge that you're only going to use them for special occasions, like when you have a craving for a margarita in glass larger than your head.)

Inspired by your sudden grown-upedness, you make a reservation for you and a guest to try out the famous French bistro, Sacrebleu! You don't know much about French food, but hear that it's magnifique and since you're a big kid now, you'll be eating that gourmet sh*t on the regular. You get all fancy, head to the restaurant and get ready to enjoy some glorious grub. They start bringing out various nibbles, otherwise known as appetizers. And then...what's this? Holy pomme frites Batman, it appears they serve dessert in between different courses. Score, because you love some sorbet. Your server overhears you talking about this with your companion and gently corrects you. "No, no, it's not dessert. It's called a palate cleanser, so you can appreciate the different flavors of each course."

Wow. Those Frenchies are fancy.

To those who prefer the simpler fare of Chili's, it probably sounds silly to eat fruity ice in between your southwestern eggrolls and baby back ribs. But for those who like to try complicated dishes with unrecognizable names, it's necessary because you want to be able to appreciate the complex nuances of each ingredient that complements and enhances each flavor (I'm beginning to sound a little fancy myself!).

So what's the point (besides embarrassing you about your fondness for endless breadsticks) of this lengthy analogy?

There are palate cleansers in life, especially when it comes to relationships! Whew, I was working really hard to get that out. Sorry it took so long.

After a break up, whether it's good or bad, it's usually a good idea to take a dating hiatus. However, many of us feel like it's a good idea to hook up with someone else. This is known as the Rebound. The Rebound tends to be someone you don't consider a suitable mate, but they're a perfect distraction while you recover from your last relationship. Rebounds typically last a few months; however, according to urban legend, some rebounds turn into the next relationship.*

The Palate Cleanser doesn't always come immediately after a relationship. It may sometimes come after The Rebound. While it also tends to be a short-lived interaction or eventually have a foreseeable expiration date, there are several differences between it and the Rebound.

1. This is actually someone you take seriously (and out in public).
2. They treat you well (way better than your ex).
3. If you haven't completely gotten over your ex, they seal the deal.
4. They help you remember how awesome you are and that you have a lot to offer.


The Palate Cleanser becomes the Palate Cleanser retrospectively; the Rebound is generally intentional and often sexual. What the PC does is get you ready for your next real relationship. There's usually relationship amnesia after a break-up; it's easy to forget that relationships can be full of love and happiness. We get stuck in the muck and the mire of what went wrong and we only remember the emotional fatigue and bitterness that pulled us apart. While the Rebound is mindless fun, the PC has the potential to turn into something serious.  And that was the fun...being excited about the potential. Over time, maybe about a month or two, you learn that you're not compatible.Whether it's because their flaws include emotional laziness or not consistently taking a shower, there is an end date to your dating. However, the experience of learning that was enjoyable. It reminded you that there are good people out there, that you're still in the game and that the person you became in your former relationship was just a symptom of the relationship, not who you are. They served their purpose: to cleanse your palate.

Bring on the snails! You are ready for the next course.