The Power of Words

Recently, I was working with a personal trainer at the gym. We'd been working together for about 3 months and there hadn't been a significant shift on the scale. While that was annoying, it didn't really affect me too much...until he told me that someone of my height should (I really hate that word) weigh about 40 pounds less to be truly fit.

What the fudge?!!!! (Although, I guess I should stay away from the fudge.)

Thankfully, I know better and my self-esteem is intact. It was definitely bothersome to hear something like that, but what bothered me more was the feeling that what I know to be best for my body was perceived as a personal choice vs. what actually is healthy and looks good on my frame. At the end of the day, what the trainer thinks about me has no bearing on my life, but it still made me feel some kind of way.

When we strip away all the various methods of communication, what we're left with are words. Although the old adage "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," has been quoted often throughout our childhoods, it's quite untrue. Words can hurt. Often the most hurtful and cruel words are the ones that we remember most, regardless of how many lovely and positive ones we've heard before or after.

With conversation becoming a lost art, it's becoming more and more difficult for us to use our words in a thoughtful and meaningful way. We speak before we think and end up agreeing to do things we don't want to do, making promises we can't fulfill, or making someone feel bad. We'll be quick to fire off a text or email when we're upset without thinking through our intentions...or the consequences. Now, there are situations where something negative has to be expressed; last time I checked, we don't live in some kind of Pleasantville utopia. However, negative thoughts or feelings can best be expressed using diplomacy and tact. Need some examples?


Diplomatic: "Baby, I love you the way you are, but I know you're frustrated and concerned about how big your gut is getting. What can I do to help?"
Wrong: "That is the worst case of booty-do I've seen in a long time!"


Diplomatic: "I can tell you've put a lot of effort into the project. Would you be open to hearing some suggestions that might add to what you've already done?"
Wrong: "This project sucks."


Diplomatic: "I know you really like these jeans, but there's that one pair you have that looks even better on you."
Wrong: "I see we're getting dressed in the dark with our eyes closed again."

Words have a lot more power than we realize. Once they are out there, you can't take them back. This applies to both negative and positive things that are said. I strongly encourage everyone to use positive ones toward your loved ones as often as possible.