Psychotherapy - Therapy for Psychos?

Psychotherapy: The treatment of a behavior disorder, mental illness, or any other condition by psychological means. Psychotherapy may utilize insight, persuasion, suggestion, reassurance, and instruction so that patients may see themselves and their problems more realistically and have the desire to cope effectively with them. (Copied from MedicineNet.com)

When I was traveling last summer, I struck up a brief conversation with a woman while waiting for food. It went a little something like this:

Her: So what do you do?

Me: I'm a psychotherapist.

Her: I never understood the point of psychotherapy. Someone just sit there and listens to you talk? (Getting agitated). Then you pay them a bunch of money and they don't really help you do anything. I don't think there's any point.

Me: Hmmm. Everyone has a different experience. (Pause). So...have you eaten at this place before?

Clearly, I didn't handle that as well as I wished. She basically insulted my profession! I wish I had asked her if she's actually experienced therapy and if so, what was her experience like? But then I would have been doing therapy and I was on vacation. No thanks!

Thankfully, therapy has become a lot more acceptable and common, especially in the States. However, there are still a lot of misconceptions about how therapy works. This is due mostly to images we see in movies or television, where the “shrink” is sitting in their chair and the client/patient is laying on the couch, talking about the dream they had where they were kissing the toes of a baby elephant. While dream analysis is an aspect of a few kinds of therapy, there are many different theoretical approaches in doing therapy, which informs the kind of treatment we get. (To learn about some of the different treatment modalities, please click on the link.)

What's the point of going to therapy? 

Therapy has a number of benefits. It can help improve interpersonal relationships, increase feeling of self-esteem and self-worth, decrease symptoms of various mental health diagnoses, and may resolve the concerning issues. However, it does take a lot of work on the part of the client. A therapist helps us look at things from a different perspective. While our friends and family can also be there to help us with our issues, a therapist has a unbiased view of our situation; they have no personal stake in us making changes in our life.

So what usually happens in therapy?

Everyone has a different experience, because every therapist is different; the relationship we form with her/him will greatly influence the kind of work we do. It also depends on what brought us into therapy in the first place. If we are having a problem managing our stress, the therapist may work with us to uncover the root of the stress, teach us some healthier stress management techniques and send us on our merry way after a few sessions. If we are working on something deeper, like resolving negative self-esteem issues, it will most likely take much longer to work on those issues. But generally speaking, it doesn't involve us laying on a couch. It does involve a lot of talking; we do most of the talking but there are times when the therapist does the talking.

Though there are different kinds of therapy, here are some things to know about therapy before seeking treatment:

1. Therapy is not going to be a lot of fun. We are there to make changes and change is difficult.
2. The therapist is not going to “fix” our problems. They are there to help us figure out and fix our problems.
3. Therapy is (usually) voluntary; it requires participation and complete honesty to be affective.
4. It may take a few sessions before we get into a rhythm with our therapist. Essentially, we are going to a stranger to tell them about our issues and vulnerabilities.
5. We are not friends with our therapist. No happy hour after a session!
6. Although the therapist may use some of their personal experiences to convey understanding, the session is about us, not them. If we know all about our therapist's relationship with their mother, there's a problem.
7. Although therapists are trained to control how they react to the information we give them, some of the things we tell them may cause a reaction. Therapists are human too! That's okay, as long as we don't start taking care of the therapist's feelings.
8. The first therapist we go to may not be a good fit. We don't have to stay with this one, we can try someone else. Don't give up!
9. The time that we are with the therapist is all about us – they don't answer their phones and neither do we.
10. The therapist should never, ever have a sexual relationship with their clients. Never, ever!

I've heard many people say, “I believe that therapy can help people, but I don't think it's for me.” My response: how do you know unless you try it? I also wonder what it means to them to be in therapy. Although it has become more common, there is still a stigma attached to receiving mental health services. There seems to be an underlying belief that seeing a therapist means we are either “crazy” or weak because we can't solve our problems on our own. I believe it actually takes a lot of strength to acknowledge that we need help and to go get it.

Do you think there is still a stigma attached to therapy? When you hear about therapy, what do think it's going to be like? Do you have people in your life who speak negatively about seeking help? What would be some indicators that a therapist would not be a good fit for you? Would you prefer to have someone of the same race/gender/sexual orientation? Why or why not?

To find a therapist in your city, go to www.psychologytoday.com and click on the Find a Therapist tab.