Supper Club

 

Back in my early twenties (approximately 5 minutes ago), my friends and I decided that we wanted to be grown and sexy. This of course, equated to starting a book club (because all the best conversations started on dates are about books). I can't remember how many of us there were; the number kind of fluctuated since we were so busy being in our twenties. However, it was a great way for a group of young women to bond and pretend to talk about literature. I say pretend because many of us "forgot" to actually read the books.

Fast forward to about 5 years ago. We decide to resurrect book club. This time, we're going to have rules and sh*t. The group was closed, we took turns hosting (which meant providing some snacks and most certainly wine), we had a set schedule and we all contributed to the book list from which we picked the next book. We were definitely growner and sexier now. The closed nature of the group allowed us to feel safe sharing what was going on in our lives, we liked wine now so we could get a little buzzy and with more life experience, we could really get into the meat of the books.

Except many of us "forgot" to read the books. Did you know that talking about a book is difficult when you haven't read it? Crazy, right?

Eventually, we gave up on the book reading part. What would actually happen was that we would make dinner, drink wine and catch up on what was going on in each other's lives, leaving about 20 minutes to talk about why we didn't read the book this time. So we redubbed it Supper Club and for the past 4 years, we've been taking turns hosting dinner once a month. And it's fabulous. Over the years, we've created a space where we can talk about anything from dating to health to reality television to professional development. We laugh, we cry, we sit around in our underwear (okay, that's just me) and most importantly, we eat!*

As we older, it's very easy to get caught up in being busy. Work, partners, children, macaroni necklace making, all of these take up time. Often, our non-primary relationships are sacrificed because we feel like we don't have time to attend to them. However, healthy friendships are actually critical in making our lives better, whether you're single, partnered or somewhere in between (yeah, I know, it's complicated). Deep down, you know your boo doesn't want to make necklaces with you - that's what a bestie is for.

Does this mean you need to start your own supper/book/knitting/World of Warcraft club? Not necessarily. But it is important that you set aside time to continue to cultivate and maintain those friendships. They talk you off the ledge when your 2-year old draws on the wall. They give you some perspective when your boo is acting a fool. Do you need a place to crash? Their couch has your name on it. They are our support system, but most importantly, they keep us sane. Not to mention that without them, you have no one to tell you your fly is unzipped, you have a booger in your nose and there's no way in hell you should appear in public with that outfit on.

And you can sit around their place in your underwear. (What? I was hot. They were clean!)

*You'd think getting a bunch of women together to eat wouldn't be problematic but as we've gotten even growner, some dietary issues have come about. We have 1 gluten-free, sugar-free person, 1 gluten-free, dairy-free person, 1 vegetarian, 1 sometimes vegetarian, sometimes gluten-free person, and 3 should be lactose free but pretend they don't need to be people. Figuring out a menu for our little group is like trying to figure out String Theory. Mostly we're successful, but sometimes, one of us is having salad and/or wine for dinner (no complaints about the liquid dinner).